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August 10th, 2008

018

8/10/08 09:53 am
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Um, so, this is on the embarrassing side.

So, I was off doing whatever and I got all this dirt in my hand. The robotic one. It ended up all in my hand and I took my hand off in order to clean it carefully with my little cleany kit. But then the phone rang and I got distracted and apparently, one of the cats knocked the hand off of the kitchen counter and into the open dishwasher. And I closed the dishwasher and turned it on without noticing.

I am typing this very carefully with one hand.


Help, anyone?
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June 23rd, 2008

017

6/23/08 11:25 am
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SIGH.

Most interesting thing to happen this week was that I stole a cab from under a handicapped old man and I felt a rush of PURE EVIL in my veins. But I didn't even kick his cane out from under him. I feel like I'm losing my touch. You know what? Maybe I'm getting deep, but... I don't think most people are really evil. I mean, I don't look in the mirror and say "Wow, I'm evil." Screw that, I'm not evil. I never was evil. People like to say I am, but I'm just a girl trying to make it alone in the big bad city. So I stole a cab from a handicapped old man. I'm handicapped, too. And I was in a hurry. If he really wanted that cab he shoulda moved faster.
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June 4th, 2008

016

6/4/08 01:22 pm
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Uh, hello? What the hell are you supposed to do with yourself when your boss has suddenly disappeared? Not answering any calls, no electronic communication, I even stopped in to see him. Nothing! What the frack is this. I'm going to go hang out with the frigid bitch computer lady who fixed my hand.

( Marauders: Gambit & Accord )
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May 27th, 2008

015

5/27/08 05:04 pm
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Cast is off and apart from making a splash in the news, there's nothing to report! I was going to write all about it but I hesitated and now the magic's gone. Now I'm stuck in my apartment again and the most interesting thing to happen was that Jack threatened to visit me and I said NO. And then, he didn't visit! Asshole. My life could have been interesting for at least five minutes.

I can get back to work, though. Getting back to work is good, I'll finally be able to make some money again. God knows I need to. I stiffed a cab driver the other day because I had no cash. Now that I'm thinking about it? That was totally a good idea and I should do that more often. Taxi rates are so high ANYWAY and it's like who wants to ride in a nasty old subway full of crazy people like me?

I need to buy kitty litter. Greg just took a shit on the floor. That's a hint.
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April 14th, 2008

014

4/14/08 05:27 pm
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I was walking down the street the other day and I swear I saw a dude who looked JUST like Magneto. I mean I might be crazy. He was an old dude. I can't tell any of these wrinkly geriatrics apart. I think I just saw an old dude.

A couple more weeks and this cast can come off. FINALLY. God. I'm so bored right now. It's television all day and all night, and feeding the cats and eating mac and cheese and stuff. There's nothing sadder than an injured, out-of-work mercenary. Assassin. Professional girl who will fuck up your shit... whatever you wanna call it. I don't know.

I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO GET BACK TO KILLING PEOPLE!

Haha. That's a joke, folks. Just kidding. :D I mean, the last remotely evil thing I did was steal my neighbor's mail. I now know he owes $4,451.92 on his Visa and has a subscription to Sports Illustrated that's going to run out. I can feel the wickedness coursing through my veins even as I type.
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March 25th, 2008

013

3/25/08 10:25 am
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Forget not being able to work. Having a broken left arm in a cast and a robotic right hand that shorts out in water means that I am fundamentally fracked when it comes to showering. I've been taking my hand with me into the shower and wrapping it up in a plastic bag and securing it with rubber bands and shit and that kind of helps, but it's also like trying to shower with a mitten on. Only one mitten while your other arm can't get wet. I could possibly put my other arm in a plastic baggie, too. This sucks.

You know? This Vivieros guy who's all over the news doesn't seem half bad. Kinda chubby, but not half bad.
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March 18th, 2008

012

3/18/08 09:17 am
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I don't give a shit about all this chaos that's going on and who's going to lead the country. What the hell EVER. It'll all even itself out with time, quit whining and worrying about it. What I am pissed off about is the fact that thanks to what Lebeau did to me, I'm OUT OF WORK for the next couple months while my broken arm heals----not to mention this stupid big old bandage on my FACE to try and fix my broken nose. Because you know what? The internet still works, my site's not shut down, I could still work. But I CAN'T work with a busted face and a sling AND a robot hand. Great. Just great.

And what the hell was that, taking away powers. What happened? Seriously, what happened.
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March 12th, 2008

011

3/12/08 11:57 pm
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( Private )
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March 5th, 2008

010

3/5/08 02:13 am
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Things I Would Like For My Robotic Hand

1. Lasers
2. Attachments other than fingers:
---> Hook or blade or other sharp pointy thing
---> Cereal spoon
---> Pencil
---> Bazooka
---> Pez dispenser
3. Vibration option w. multiple speeds
4. Cell phone service
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February 24th, 2008

009

2/24/08 11:48 pm
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I took the hand into the ... shop, or whatever you call it, and the son of a bitch said it'd be two days' work. I did this two days ago. Call today, and what's going on? Oh, oh. Right. That's right, he says now it's going to take two weeks and it's gonna cost twice as much as he said it would. I bet I'll call back in two weeks and he'll make it two months unless I blow him or something.

Doesn't the Brotherhood have some kind of techno-genius who'd be willing to take my repairs from now on? You can have my services. Hell, even if you don't fix anything, I'm hiring myself out. I need the cash.

( Private )

This is taking forever to fracking type. The end.
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February 16th, 2008

008

2/16/08 12:39 am
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HOO. Boy, am I glad the Danvers situation is over. I know it's a little late to write about it but I've been spending the last several nights out on the town and having a GOOD TIME because I don't have this clone bullshit on my back anymore. I mean, if Danvers is dead, who cares who did it? Wasn't me. No big deal. I don't care. I don't feel like less of a person. If anything it saved me the time.

So I spent the day hanging out at a skate park making people fall and crack their heads open and stuff. I wish I had something better to do with my time but apparently all my coworkers are busy with their own stupid lives and who knew----apparently I don't have any friends apart from the fuckers who jack off to my webpage. And I was really... you know, I was cool with it until I actually stopped to think about it and now I'm just lonely. So I snapped a few sk8r bois' necks and broke a couple bikers' wrists and I think I popped some guy's kneecap before he fainted in a puddle of his own vomit. It's amazing what dizziness and lack of balance can do. I was feeling all down about my powers, too, after the Danvers thing. I've never been up against anyone I couldn't take out except the Boss. It threw me off. I carry a gun but it's just not enough. I need some more firepower.

I gotta hand it to the Brotherhood, making good on that whole dominating-the-world idea. I don't know why Jack just sits on his ass all day instead of actually getting up and doing something with you guys. You know what? Next time you need someone like me, BH, give me a call. I actually work when I'm told to do something. Jack just stares and then goes back to picking his butt.


I think my hand is starting to rust. It's not supposed to motherfucking rust, is it? Ugh, so much for the new, improved model. I must've done something to fuck it up and NOW I'm gonna have to take it in to the creepy techie for repairs and he'll keep it for a few days and I'll be hand-less for a few days and I'm trying to think if that's worth it or if I should just deal with a rusty hand. You know who could answer this question for me? Remy Lebeau could answer this question for me, since he was SUCH A GREAT GUY and BLEW MY HAND OFF and put me in this predicament. Asshole.
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February 5th, 2008

007

2/5/08 09:07 pm
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Jaaaaaaaaaaack

jaaaaaack

Jack come out with me. Come out with me. I'm bored, come out with meeeeeeee, come out with me. JAAAAAAAACCCCK



Or hey, how about that Sage lady with the Brotherhood? You can come out with me, that'd be awesome! SAAAAAAAAGE SAAAAAGE COME OUT WITH MEEEEEEE
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January 26th, 2008

006

1/26/08 05:19 pm
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I don't know who's reading this right now, but if you're reading this, and you have a person that you know who has miraculously arisen from the dead, you should kill them.

No, really. They were supposed to stay dead. Now they're not dead. They're not the person that you thought they were. They're clones. Don't be fooled. Just bite the bullet and kill them. I don't care if it's your mom. Kill 'em. The ghost girl, the superheroine, the healer, the hick...

( Private )
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January 8th, 2008

005 ( Marauders )

1/8/08 10:58 pm
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MARAUDERS:

The clone thing is freaking me out. I played cards with Riptide and Harpoon last night and it's like they were never gone... but I dug up their bodies. I dealt with their decaying flesh and bones. And here they are.. it's just... it's the same and yet completely different. I know it's not really them, they don't quite seem like themselves.

I was going to get them to help me with the Danvers situation but they're not too keen on clone-killing, for obvious reasons. Which of course makes them totally useless. They're out taking up space and not even doing their old jobs right now and it's like... what a fucking waste of technology if they're not going to go back to being Marauders. The least they could do is go fuck up the fish bitch and the pastel Picasso. You'd think they'd be into a little revenge against their murderers... but I've come to the conclusion that clones are either fucking crazy or incredibly lazy. Riptide's been staying at my place and all he does is raid my fridge and scratch his balls.
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January 3rd, 2008

004 ( Marauders )

1/3/08 01:15 pm
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MARAUDERS:

Carol Danvers is STILL on the loose. You know who's gonna die if she isn't brought in? Me. I will. I know we don't foster loyalty but I could USE A GODDAMN HAND.



... Yeah. Laugh it up, fuckers. Worst case scenario I go to the Brotherhood for help and I spill the beans about Sinister's little clone game and spoil everyone's fun.
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December 26th, 2007

003

12/26/07 08:17 pm
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MARAUDERS:

The Boss is giving me another shot to take down the Danvers clone, but there's no way in hell I can do it on my own. My powers work on her, but it's like she doesn't care. I need backup. Saturday, do your powers work on invulnerable people? Maybe? I don't think we can get close enough to her to poison her food.

He wants us to bring her back. We have to bring her back. Don't tell me to do it on my own, because when I DO do it, I'll tell him that you were all selfish dicks and I'll make sure you'll all choking.
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December 22nd, 2007

002 ( Marauders )

12/22/07 10:24 pm
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I failed in bringign carol abck. i tried tahnks. don't give me motherfucking lip becausei didn't DO IT i wasthe only one who tried,, boys.

bionic hand is destroyed typign witha left only need to get it replaced//fiexd. can i?
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November 17th, 2007

( what you know )

11/17/07 12:00 am
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Acquaintances / General Knowledge
• Is the "dumb blonde" of Mr. Sinister's gang of Marauders
• Has a robotic right hand
• Wears clothes that are generally too tight but has the body to get away with it
• Hates Jack Bantock


Friends
• Has a robotic right hand because Remy Lebeau blew her real hand off (thanks, Remy)
• Is an "adult performer" for the mutant porn website called The XXX Gene, and is simply known as "Val"
• Why yes, the striped hair is totally natural... sort of -- that is, she doesn't dye it
• Is Catholic
• Reads Cosmopolitan magazine like it's the Bible
• Hates Jack Bantock but kind of wants to fuck him


Close Friends
• Is named Valerie Reed
• Is terrified of mice, rats, bugs, and anything else small and skittery, but loves to use her powers to make them run into walls
• Hates being a mutant but puts up with it
• Has a massive sex toy collection
• Loves Bruce Lee movies
• Is a really bad Catholic
• Hates Jack Bantock but kind of wants to fuck him and then claw his eyes out with the RoboHand


Marauders
• Vertigo wasn't born a mutant -- she was experimented on for years as a child (age 6-10), had her DNA spliced with mutant DNA, and the result was green striped hair and the power to cause dizziness ... and a huge chip on her shoulder
• Is often underestimated but is good at her job -- lockpicking, breaking and entering, assassination, explosives, reconnaissance, playing secret agent, and digging up dead bodies
• Decent gymnast and a black belt in karate


Currently Unknown
• Hates Mr. Sinister but believes he has the power to keep her from ever growing old -- she wants to be beautiful and powerful and Sinister has the means to give her that, but she also really has no other choice in the matter
• Is bitter and angry over being subjected to so many experiments and now feels like she has to "run with the big dogs" and play in the boys' club in order to compensate for being used and abused as a little girl
• Despite seeming so oversexed, she doesn't actually enjoy sex -- she uses it as a means to an end and to manipulate people, but it doesn't really thrill her that much
• Lives in a cluttered, dingy Brooklyn apartment with two Sphinx cats named Greg and Suzie, and when she isn't trying to be sexy for anyone she tends to lounge around in her pajamas and watch Days Of Our Lives

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November 16th, 2007

( power profile )

11/16/07 11:54 pm
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( whip out the dramamine, vertigo's here )
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( character profile )

11/16/07 11:53 pm
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( this is what it sounds like when heads roll )
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